I don’t want to look at your feet

I know there are people in the world who have a foot fetish.  Some people truly get off sexually to feet.  (I can understand the fetish related to very high heeled designer shoes – I personally come close to deriving sexual gratification from that.) Some people just think feet are cute or pretty.  I do not belong in either of these categories.

In fact, I must fight to contain the bouts of nausea that threaten to overwhelm me when I must look at someone’s feet that are unkempt and not freshly pedicured.  Toenails that are not cut evenly, polish chipped off, scaly heels, dry feet… ugh I feel like I need to shower just typing that.Men in flip flops have always been the worst offenders.  However, the new shoes with toes in them have now taken the lead.

 

A shoe that resembles a sock and outlines each toe like a glove has been appearing everywhere.  

I was forced to see these up close as a man crossed his legs in the movie theatre next to me, thus causing me much difficulty in focusing my attention on the screen with that foot/sock/toe thing a mere inches away from touching me.  I understand they are touted as great for the alignment as they maintain the natural flexibility of the foot.  I could see they might be comfortable, but so are slippers, and you don’t see me wearing those outside of the house.  It just seems too personal, too out there.  My daughter even thought they had an oddly similar alien quality to them.  Are these shoes the new birkenstocks?  Shoes that become the new bohemian footwear calling card?

I will leave it at that this with my suggestion to the world.  If you do not get regular pedicures, then wear normal shoes that cover your feet.  If you want to wear flip flops or birkenstocks, then get regular pedicures to resolve the above stated offenses.  They are not expensive.  Feet are left soft and clean. Just don’t sit next to me to get one, because I still don’t want to look at your feet.

Advertisements

Eating isn’t cheating.

I am shameless.  Or rather, I just love the show Shameless.  The new season started Sunday.  I am not certain what is it that I love more – the spiral of degradation coupled with a “if you don’t laugh you will cry” mentality, or the mere mindless quality of watching the pathetic patriarch drink himself into another pile of shit.  Or perhaps it is the fact that the show manages to somehow touch on every controversial subject matter while flooding it with sexual content and humor and cementing the not often seen concept that the family bond is above all.  You simply must watch it to understand what I mean.  I hate to admit my words can’t do it justice, but it is true.

TV whore I am not.  Primetime time shows are too formulaic for me, politics send me into an ambien like haze, the news sends me running to hide the kitchen knives and reality shows break me out into hives.  But premium channel series have me by the balls, if I had any.  Shameless and Californication take the lead. (Seriously how can you not love a show about a sex addict and hollywood played by a sex addict in hollywood?) True Blood and Hung follow in distant thirds and fourths.  Although I heard Hung was cancelled.  Guess some big wigs are tired of a show glorifying big dicks.  Game of Thrones and Sparticus are fantastic period shows – although bloody and I don’t’ mean a cycle – and they are laced with innuendo and beautiful people.  I could have lived in that time easily – maids, sex slaves, beautiful clothes, someone feeding me a constant supply of wine and grapes and bread. Except for the part where you make a misstep and you pay the mistake by hanging.  And, although not a premium channel show, Breaking Bad was pretty awesome too.  Nothing like a meth lab to get you addicted to a show.  (My play on words tonight is astounding even me!)

So there are my current sins of tv.  Obviously every one of these shows are when my angel girls are asleep.  Otherwise I would have been writing about I Carly and my slow ascent into hell. Groan.

Oh and the post title, “Eating isn’t cheating.”  is from Californication.  Those words of wisdom just had to be shared.  I would love to meet the writer that wrote that. We would certainly have lots to talk about.  While over lunch.